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Feb 28

How To Pimp Your Car For Cheap Budget Pimpin

Today, moreso than any time in history, it is important to embrace the sexy and masculine subculture of car pimpin. Frankly there is just too much competition among men for women, and driving a chick magnet is not just recommended, it’s essential if you intend to get anywhere. But if you had the money to pimp it right, you probably would have. Fortunately for all you scrubs out there, there are low cost ways of doin it right.

The first thing ya’ll scrubs need is rims. If you don’t have rims, you won’t catch the fly honeys. I promise you that. But rims ain’t cheap, and they certainly aren’t going to be cheap to replace if someone ganks one. What if I told you that you could get a rim job for under 50 bucks? I’m talking bout all four rims for under 50. Here’s how. Head to the grocery store and buy yourself some aluminum foil and duck tape. Work with the wheels you already have, just remove the hubcaps. Rap the wheel spokes in aluminum foil and tie it off with duck tape. Presto, a satisfying rim job for super cheap.

The second thing you scrubs need is some bass. You want those honeys to see your rims, but you want em to hear you coming first. And nothing makes a boo feel better than some loud bass kicking gangsta in her ears after she’s made the leap and takes your ride. This, unfortunately, may not be super cheap. But it can be relatively cheap. You’ll have to dish out for a couple of sexy looking speakers that sit down by your hips or ankles. These are the money speakers, and all for show. Then you’ll need to break in to your high school, college, or neighbor’s house and steal some things. Real speakers are best, but computer speakers work well too. You stuff your trunk full of them and wire them all together. Presto, you’ve got yourself some bumpin bass.

And the final step, for the truly hardcore or desperate scrubs out there, is to add hydraulics. If your honey hears you coming, sees your sexy new rims, and then has the gall to look away, you’ll need some eye popping car bouncing fanciness to pull her back in. Now I’m not a scientist so I don’t know how to fake hydraulics for cheap. This one truly separates the playas from the posers. If you can afford hydraulics, by definition, you are pimp. But heck, I’ve saved you enough money on the bass and rim job, you ought to be able to fork over a little green for some decent hydraulics.

So for all you playas out there, I hope this helps. And remember, there is more to life than appearances. But most of the time, life is only about appearances. So if your car ain’t pimp, you ain’t pimp.

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